Children are a heritage from the Lord, a reward from Him. As parents, we have a sacred responsibility to train our children in the way they should go. But there's a significant difference between simply raising children and truly training them.
When we raise children, we feed them, take them to school, and ensure they come home at the right time. But training goes much deeper - it's about intentionally shaping their character, values, and faith.
What Does the Bible Say About Training Children?
Proverbs 22:6 tells us to "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This verse contains both a promise and a warning. If we train our children well, they will stay on the right path. But if they depart from the right way when they're grown, it suggests we didn't train them properly.
One crucial truth about parenting: anything God initiates, He gives instructions for. Since children are God's heritage and blessing to us, He has provided a manual for raising them - the Bible.
Children Learn by What They See, Not Just What They Hear
Children are trained not primarily by what we tell them but by what they see us do. If you don't take the things of the Lord seriously - if you don't attend church services or uphold God's principles in your life - you're teaching your child that God isn't important, even if your words say otherwise.
Your children observe you and mimic your behavior. You are their hero, and they aspire to be like you. What you demonstrate through your actions becomes what they aspire to become.
The Danger of Digital Devices and Outside Influences
When you put a phone or tablet in your child's hands, you may be surrendering control of their discipleship to outside influences. Even with parental controls, children can find ways around restrictions, or they can be influenced by what their peers have access to.
Children don't need phones for all the reasons we give them. They primarily need phones just to stay in touch with parents. Before a certain age, text and phone call capabilities are sufficient - they don't need access to apps and social media that can shape their thinking in harmful ways.
Essential Areas to Train Your Children
1. Teach Them to Respect Others
You can't just tell children to respect adults - you must demonstrate respect in your own interactions. Children learn by observing how you treat others.
2. Teach Them How to Earn Money
Help your children learn the value of work by encouraging them to earn money through appropriate jobs. This eliminates the sense of entitlement that can develop when everything is simply given to them.
Don't pay children for household chores - these are responsibilities they have as family members. Instead, encourage them to find opportunities outside the home, like washing a neighbor's car.
3. Teach Them How to Manage Money
Let your children have their own bank accounts and learn to manage their finances. Take them shopping and let them pay for groceries occasionally so they understand the value of money.
A good parent leaves an inheritance for their children. If your child starts life at the same level as you or lower, you have failed as a parent. You should aspire to launch your children into their future from a higher starting point than you had.
4. Teach Them About Relationships
Train your children that in relationships, things won't always go their way. Don't immediately rush to fight their battles when they have conflicts with others. Instead, teach them to understand others' perspectives and maintain relationships even through difficulties.
5. Teach Them to Survive in Hostile Environments
Many people today are quick to quit when things get uncomfortable. By teaching your children to persevere through challenges, you prepare them for real life, where things won't always be comfortable.
6. Teach Them to Pray, Fast, and Give
Prayer is both taught and imparted. Your children need to see you praying, fasting, and giving. These spiritual disciplines will sustain them long after you're gone.
Life Application
This week, take an honest assessment of your parenting approach. Are you merely raising your children, or are you intentionally training them? Consider these questions:
- What am I demonstrating to my children through my actions about what I truly value?
- In what areas have I surrendered my parental influence to outside forces (media, peers, technology)?
- How am I preparing my children not just for today's comfort but for tomorrow's challenges?
- Am I teaching my children spiritual disciplines by both instruction and example?
Make one concrete change this week to move from simply raising your children to truly training them in the way they should go. Remember, your goal isn't just to have well-behaved children now, but to raise adults who will serve the Lord, improve their communities, and leave a godly legacy.
